


I Hear Your Heart Pumping Through the EVP

by Trachelate



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, Bisexual Male Character, Comedy, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Dialogue Heavy, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Keith (Voltron), Ghost Hunting, Ghosts, Korean Keith (Voltron), M/M, Memes, They're totally both Ryan, and also full of shit, like ALOT of dialogue, some comedy around death, the boys are soft, they both wanna be Shane, they're in love, this is highkey inspired by bfu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 16:33:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14918927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trachelate/pseuds/Trachelate
Summary: "Hey there, you uh... you must be tired, from running through my dreams all night."Keith frowned at Lance in confusion."Y'know you're the most boo-tiful thing i've seen all night~" Lance cooed, laying the charm on thick."Are you- Are you flirting with ghosts?!"





	I Hear Your Heart Pumping Through the EVP

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RoseHeartwell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseHeartwell/gifts).



> Wow look at me writing something again! This was for a special occasion! And was written for my absolutely fantastic friend Gels, you're the best friend a dude could ask for and ilysm<3 Happy Birthday!  
> Also! This Sanitorium actually exists and I DID do my research on it! That being said, if you notice something that doesn't add up please let me know!

"I'm Keith... and uh this is my fourth? yeah fourth vlog. I'm hunting ghosts..."

"eith tell them where we're going."

"I'm Keith."

"You already said that."

"Fuck you! I'm bad at this."

"Give me the camera!"

The screen shook and then a new face popped into view, with a scowling Keith behind them.

"Hello there, I'm Lance and that's Keith. Today we're going to be working towards solving the mystery of the supernatural. Are ghosts real? Hopefully tonight we'll get a definitive answer."

"That sounds so hokey! And ghosts  _ are _ real."

Lance rolled his eyes and grinned back at the camera. "Today, this doofus has brought me out to Kamloops, British Columbia and let me tell you we drove all the way from Manitoba, a twenty hour drive! So if you conspiracy nuts don't appreciate this, well-"

"My fans are not nuts!"

"Anyways! The place we're going to be infiltrating today is none other than Tranquille Sanitorium."

"Alright give me back the camera," Keith muttered. More fumbling esued and then once again Keith was front and center. "I'm going to edit out everything you just said."

"Rude Keith, rude."

The two stood outside the large building, the moon glowing a brilliant chartreuse through the night vision camera's lens. "I think you guys are really gonna like this one." Keith spoke, voice vibrating with excitement as he filmed the building from different angles. "It's got a lot of rich history and countless claims of supernatural experiences. First we're going to be heading to the infirmary, where I'll dive into some of the history."

 

___

 

 

Once the two arrived and set up their tripod they sat in front of the camera, Lance looking aroung the bare room curiously. The walls were chipping and the smell of dirt and rust was strong in the air. The room had  a few stray pieces of plywood and metal scraps. Tattered drapes still hung from the boarded windows. The floor tiles were cracked and a thick layer of dust covered everything.

"Alright, let's get right into it," Keith began, putting on his best deep, serious voice that he saved for his connspiracy and supernatural videos. “This place has quite the history. In fact, tragedy occurred here before the Sanitorium even existed. This land originally belonged to a First Nation’s Chief, Sanquil, and was a part of his territory. However, fur traders wanted the land and  _ betrayed _ the Chief, leading to his execution.” 

“Wow. Classic.” 

“Yep.”

“Killing him to get his land, congrats to white people on being snakes yet again.” Keith snorted and sent a smile Lance’s way. “At least they named the Sanitorium after him?” 

“Bullshit. That’s bullshit. I mean couldn’t they have just talked it out over a cup of coffee? Did it have to be that dramatic?” 

“Apparently it did, so we’re clearly not off to a great start. And this gives good reason for the Sanitorium to be haunted or cursed. But it only gets worse from here.” 

“Lovely.”

 

\---

 

 

“In an interview done with the current owner of the Tranquille Sanitorium we asked what their opinion was of it being haunted and they said quote; ‘all the stories are lies’ end quote, and that the land is quote; ‘God’s land’ end quote.” “Well, that’s that. Mystery Solved.” 

“Wait, Wait, wait,” Keith interjected, “You’re just gonna take their word for it?” Lance shrugged. “Well I mean… yeah.They would be the most likely to know if the place was haunted.” 

“I don’t trust the government so why should I trust this random person?” 

“God, let’s not get into your ridiculous conspiracies! Justin Trudeau is a good Prime Minister and he’s not a lizard person!” 

“That’s what they  _ want _ you to believe.”

Lance stared at the camera and sighed. “Why don’t you tell us the history of this place.” 

“Alright, alright, but Justin Trudeau is probably a lizard person.” 

Lance let’s out an incredulous squawk but before he could say anything else, Keith began. 

"The Tranquille Sanatorium is located in a small town in B.C. called Kamloops. It was opened to treat tuberculosis-"

"Woah, woah, woah, let me stop you right there!" Lance squawked, "This place was full of  _ tuberculosis _ patients?! That's an incredibly contagious airborne disease Keith! Do you want us to join the ghost community?!"

"Opened in  _ 1907." _

"Still incredibly dangerous."

_ "That was over one hundred years ago!" _

_ " _ Did it _ close  _ in 1907?"

"Well no, but-"

"I cannot believe you would drag me to my death I thought are relationship was going _ great _ . Clearly, I was mistaking."

Keith's eye twitched and he stared at the camera in exasperation.

"I'm too beautiful and gifted to die! What will the world do without the oh so amazing Lance Diaz!

"It opened in1907 to treat tuberculosis patients and housed over six hundred patients and staff.  _ However, there was a decline of patients starting in 1953 and by the year  _ 1958 _ the Sanitorium was closed."  _ Keith spoke over Lance's dramatic whining.

Lance paused before sniffing and crossing his arms. "You could have just said so."

"Well I was trying to!"

"You know diseases freak me out!"

Keith sighed, "I'm sorry. Now areyou going to let me finish?"

"Yes." Lance grumbled and Keith nodded his head, pleased before jumping back into his voice.

"Good. As I had said the Sanitoriumhoused over six hundred patients and of course witnessed many deaths. It is believed that patients who passed away from tuberculosis still haunt the Sanitorium and can be heard walking around or crying." 

 

\---

 

 

"This is one of larger rooms in the Infirmary and arguably one of the most active in this particular building."

“This place is filthy. I feel like I need a shower just from standing here.” 

“Why did I invite you again?” 

“ ‘Cause you’re too scared to hunt ghosts on your own.” 

“That is  _ not _ true and even if it was I wouldn’t invite  _ you _ . You’re the biggest scaredy cat to ever exist!”

“You’re the one who is scared the government is going to break into our flat and kidnap you!” 

“That’s because I  _ know things _ Lance!” 

“You don’t know anything, you’re just crazy.” 

“It’s not crazy if it’s true.” 

Lance pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing loudly, “I am so not having this conversation with you right now.” 

“Fine.” Keith grumbled. “Now I know this will be difficult for you, but you need to shut up so we can try and catch something on the EVP.” 

Lance shot Keith a look but said nothing as Keith held the machine out. 

“Hello? Is there currently anyone in this room with us?"  


Silence

"We just want to talk," keith continued, "We heard that the living conditions here weren't always the best. If anyone ever hurt you I'm very sorry, but you're safe now, we won't cause you any harm.I promise."

The two stood around in silence for quite some time.

"Maybe your hair's giving them bad vibes and they don't want to come out. I get that ghosts." 

"Hey guys, why don't you prove this tall guy wrong and cough blood in his face."

Lance stared at Keith, eyes ablaze. "You sick bastard." The journey was just begining. 

 

___

 

"After closing in 1958, the Sanitorium reopened a year later to treat the mentally ill." 

"That could'nt have ended well."

"It was a time with very little understanding towards mental illness so no, not great. Once it became a mental institute they kinda just tossed all the unwanted people in there such as abandoned babies, epilepticshyperactive individuals, people with and intellectual or physsical disability, orphans and sometimes, low level criminals." 

"It's like a fruit cup full of folks!" Lance teased. 

Keith snorted. "However, that's not the worst part." 

"I don't think it gets much worse than experimenting on poor innocent people."

"Trust me, it does."

"I'm intrigued."

"Although those at the Sanitorium were reffered to as the quote, 'unwanted' end qute, there are plenty of reports made by parents od intense coercion to hand over their children and that they did not willingly give their children to the Sanitorium."

"They were kid snatchers?!"

"According to multiple reports... yeah. But it was never proven."

"Okay, but how does that work exactly? Did they just show up at the families houses with... a muffin basket and say _'hi there, i'd like your children.'_ And expect complete cooperation?"

Keith wheezed. "A...A muffin basket?"

"And then the parents were just like _ 'no you fuckin wierdo's, get outta here!' _ And the sanitorium just went _ 'welp... I guess we'll steal their children with only the night as our witness!' " _

"Jesus Christ! I don't know how it worked but I doubt it was like that."

"Imagine being one of those kids."

"W-Where am I?" Keith asked in his best child voice, entertaining his boyfriend. 

"You live here now Timmy, in the land of the unwanted."

"B-but my mum loves me!"

"She lied."

Keith wheezed "You're a terrible, terrible person."

"I'm sorry ghost children I didn't mean it."

"You're wanted by us."

"Aw Keith! We should adopt thes ghost children!"

"Absolutely not! One of them could be a demon in disguise, they are known to pose as children."

"There's demons here?"

"Well there haven't been any claims but you never know."

 

___

 

"Keith look!" Lance gasped excitedly, pointing into the room they were walking past. Keith shone his light into the room and came across a wall with two large rainbow stickers. "They knew you were coming!"

Keith moved his flashlight around the room, the adjacent wall painted in read leaving a rather unpleasant message. 'You will die here.'

Keith raised an eyebrow and spoke with a sarcastic lilt to his voice. "Huh. For some reason- I don't know. I just don't feel that welcomed. I can't- I can't seem to put my finger on why."

Lance bursts into laughter and some of the nervous tension that had been rising in Keith's shoulders is released.

"You hear that ghosts! I'm not a fan of your welcoming skills!"

"Wow that is so rude keith, they're trying their best."

"Yeah? Well it's not good enough!" Keith calls out.

"The disrespect!"

"What? You don't like my attitude? Then come fight me ghosts!"

From somewhere in the hall there is a loud bang and both boys jump, Keith cursing.

"Fantastic keith, stand up job, you just had to go pissing off ghosts!"

"Fuck you!"

"i'd prefer a less haunted location for that."

"We probably just heard a spirit and you're making _sex jokes?"_

"What can I say, I love dissociating."

Another bang, this time louder and closer is heard and Lance and Keith quickly move closer to one another, starring at the door with wide eyes.

Lance decided to break the silence first, shakily whispering, "Are we uh- gonna go check it out?"

"Yeah." keith spoke, voice cracking, "Of course we are... unless you're too scared."

"Me? Scared? pfft! As is! lead the way ghostbuster."

The two slowly made their way to the doorway, peering out into the dark hall.

"So it was.. to the right?"

Lance leaned out a little further, shining his flashlight down the hall. "...yep."

Lance stood behind an unmoving Keith, waiting. "So... are we going?"

"Yes." Snapped Keith, taking a large step out into the hall before stopping once again.

"Keith?"

"Actually, y'know what, I think it came from the left."

Lance's shoulders sagged in relief, not particularily keen on discovering what went bump in the night. "You're totally right. It definintely came from the left."

The two nodded at each other, moving quickly in the opposite direction of the noise. If anyone asked they definitely weren't running away.

 

___

 

"This is the final room we're going to visit before heading down to the access tunnels."

"And what's special about this room?'

"There is supposedly a young woman who has been caught starring out the window and crying."

"Whi is she?"

"They don't know. There were conutless deaths at this Sanitorium. But they think she was here when the pace was a mental institute."

"Poor gal."

"Alright, I'm going to hold out this box, it's called and EVP and it can help us speak to you. What is your name?"

They sat in silence, as close to comfortable as you can be in a creepy, dirty, old, possibly haunted Sanitorium.

"Hey there, you uh... you must be tired, from running through my dreams all night."

  
Keith frowned at Lance in confusion.

  
"Y'know you're the most _boo_ -tiful thing i've seen all night~" Lance cooed, laying the charm on thick.

  
"Are you- Are you flirting with ghosts?!"

Lance simply grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "I've never met someone with an aura quite like yours, truly entrancing darling."

"lance what the fuck?"

"Maybe they'll come out."

_"If you flirt with them?"_

"Well my charm is known to be supernatural it's so unexplainably amazing."

Keith groaned and ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. "Why am I dating you?"

"I don't know, but if this lovely lady decides to make an appearance and show us her cute little face I'm gonna have to end things with you. I have a spooky feeling she's the one."

"That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard of."

Lance sent Keith a sly grin and leaned in close enough that Keith could see the specks of topaz blue that swirled through out Lance's saphire eyes. "Don't be jealous babe." Lance spoke in a soft and low tone. "You're the only one for me."

Keith's heart began pumping quickly and heat crept up his neck as he lightly pushed lance back with a scoff, his head spinning from Lance's comforting scent and needing air. "I'd be thrilled if I could pawn you off to a ghost."

"Sure thing Love." Lance replied with a wink.

Keith rolled his eyes, calling out, "This is your last chance! We're not coming back after this! I'll give you thirty seconds and then we're leaving."

The two waited, and again, nothing.

"Alright times up. You missed your chance!"

"Have a nice ghost life!" lance called out as they left the room. "Final destination, creepy underground tunnels!"

Keith grinned, "You scared?"

"No way! My  ghost girlfriend will protect me from anthing evil, wont you darling~ You however, should watch your back Mullet."

"I always do."

 

\---

 

The tunnels were nothing short of horrifying, junk scattered throughout the damp and decaying tunnels. It was pitch black and the echo of their footsteps rung like wails in the silence.

"These tunnels were used by nurses and workers to  transportthings such as food and laundry from building to building."

"This is honestly a thing f nightmares, please tell me nobody died here?"

Keith sent Lance a small fond smile that went unnoticed as he peered about suspiciously. "There's rumours. Possibly sick workers who died ehile still on duty. Apparently you can hear the sound of carts being pushed, footsteps and cries. There has also been sightings of war veterans who were here being treated for tuberculosis."

"Perfect."

"Would you like to be the one whe reaches out?"

Lance glanced at Keith before sighing. "Hello? Any demons? Ghosts?"

"Say people instead Lance, they might not realize they're dead."

"How could you not realize your dead? Does that mean we could be dead right now?"

"I don't think so, I've never had any near death experiences or been in extremely dangerous situations that could have lead to me dying."

Lance bent over, clutching at his sides and wheezing. "No near death- Youre middle name is Danger, Keith.I can't remember a time you weren't doing something reckless. You, could definitely be dead right now. I always thought you were just really lucky and that's how you made it this far, but maybe i was wrong. Maybe you're dead!"

"Well you can see me so how would you have died?"

"I don't know but I bet it was your fault."

"It wasn't my fault!"

The two were interupted by a shrill scraping noise in the distance, the echoes deafening.

"H-Hello?" Lance called out, throat constricting. "Anybody down here? If so then... just... come scuttling out of the darkness."

"Scuttling?" Keith whisper-shouted

The noise was heard again, this time a little less metallic and far more human, similar to that of a strangeld scream. Lance grabbed onto Keith's arm, squeezing tightly.

"It's- It's probably just the wind..."

"It's clearly not the fucking wind Lance!"

"Fine! Then lets go check!"

"Fine!"

The two turned on their flashlights and therml camera and began to slowly shuffle down the tunnel.

"I hate this," Lance muttered, "Oh my god I hate this."

"Shut it. It's not like it's my favourite thing either." Keith grit out, shoulders shaking slightly.

The silence that clung to their skin was tense as they continued down the seemingly never ending tunnels. The cold musty air prickling their skin and making them break into a nervous sweat. But finally, finally they had made it to the end of the tunnel and whatever had made the noise was no longer there.

"Nothing." Giggled Lance, "There's nothing."

Keith, despite the fact that he really wanted to catch a ghost couldn't help but laugh as well. "God, now I don't have anything solid. I'm-" Keith couldn't continue he was laughing so hard, their laughter dancing through the tunnels and up into the building.

 

\---

 

As the two exited the building Keith clutched onto his EVP recorder tightly. "I hope I picked something up on here or this will have been a complete waste."

"Not a _complete_ waste." Lance countered, sending a small smile Keith's way. "It was pretty fun running around chasing invisible people with you and all your nerdy lore was cute."

Keith smiled fondly and looked away from his EVP to meet Lance's eyes. "It was pretty cute seeing ou try to charm ghosts too."

Lance chuckled and threw an arm over Keith's shoulder, placing a sloppy and affectionate kiss on Keith's cheek. "Let's just hope we aren't bringing anything spookier than cobwebs home with us."

Keith slipped from Lance's embrace with a cheeky grin and said, "Well I'm bringing you home with me so..."

"Hey!"

Keith laughed and rushed ahead, his heart bursting as he heard his boyfriend chase after him.

"You better watch that mouth of yours or I'll actually leave you for a ghost!"

Keith stopped abruptly, causing Lance to bump into gim. He spun towards him and let his hand slip to the back of Lance's neck. "No you wont." murmered Keith, pulling Lance down for a kiss.

Lance's hands came to rest on Keith's hips and when they pulled apart Keith was faced with a large dopey smile which he was sure he was returning. "No," Lance agreed, "I wont."

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading! Comments and Constructive Criticism is ALWAYS appreciated! What would you think of me making this into a series where they go to a bunch of cool haunted places? Pls let me know! And if you watch Buzzfeed Unsolved, please scream with me because it's gREAT  
> Shameless Self Promoting:  
> Instagram: Lonely_Ghoul  
> Tumblr: itscolinnotcolon


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